Everyone got a bunch of big “yays” in therapy tonight. I know this should make me super happy, and don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of me and most of the choices I’ve made lately. I’m proud of important things happening that are all pieces of a larger, healthier, more sustainable future. I’m excited about the weather and how well my interview seemed to go and plans with good friends and all that.
I also kinda wanna kick a fit all. the. time. I don’t know what’s up with me, but I am just feeling all kinds of angsty reckless teenager when I’m not being super together healthy choices sister-mom. I want to ignore the rules. I want to pretend things can be however I want them to be without all the work. I want to be stupid and happy instead of doing the right thing and kinda miserable about it.
But, that’s why I write, right? So I can say that here, realize that I’m being selfish and short-sighted and that I can be patient and grownup and will be glad of it in the end.
And now we take a deep breath, reread the last paragraph a few times, and make it so.
Oh, therapy. I love and hate you so.